Saturday, January 15, 2011

Why did Ultimatum suck? Part 1

Well, why did Ultimatum suck so much that I stopped reading Ultimate comics after it was done?

First off, Ultimates 3 sucked immensely. Now, at this point in time, I'm not saying it's the worst series ever, but at the time it felt that way. See, Ultimates 2 is my favorite series, followed closely by Ultimates. Now, I'd liked Jeph Loeb and was a fan from other things he'd done in the past and so I was excited plus I like Madureira, so that was a plus too. Then, issue one hit. Well, that shot all my expectations to hell. Ultimates 3 was bad because Jeph Loeb isn't a great mystery writer but that's what he tries to do. To an extent, it worked with Hush, although some would argue against that. Ultimates 3 was a murder mystery, but completely insane at the same time. Hell, most of Hulk was wondering who Rulk was. I'm not a mystery writer so I can't say much about how you write it, but let's look at an example. I loved Identity Crisis. Say what you want about the tone and Dr. Light's horrible behavior and whether it was appropriate or not, but it was a great mystery. In Identity Crisis, you didn't know who killed Sue Dibny, but they went after suspects and revealed information about the past and were able to go after different people. In Ultimates 3, it's a complete unknown and, well, none of it makes any sense. The writing's bad and sloppy, the art style didn't fit, the characters were done horribly (such as Hawkeye suddenly becoming horribly incompetent and death-prone), and all subtlety was thrown out the window. In Ultimates 1 and 2, there was hinting that Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver were more than just siblings, but never went into it beyond that. It seemed like they were just siblings, siblings who cared a lot about each other, like what happened in House of M. In Ultimates 3, Loeb just out and says they're together as a couple. Oh, and that they're together because Scarlet Witch reminds Quicksilver of their mother. Which of course makes it that much worse. What else? Well, the villain was either Magneto or Ultron, who was also somewhat Yellowjacket and a lot more sucky. Oh, and while I realize that this is the Ultimate universe, apparently Thor's hammer sucks completely, and Mags can just use it for himself. Oh, and he got himself a new hammer for no f-ing reason. Oh, but it was Doom the whole time. Wait, what? It was Doom the whole time? It makes it a mystery where you have no idea who it is the entire time, until at the end, it's a completely unrelated character who did it for no f-ing reason. It's like if at the end of Usual Suspects, you found out Keyser Soze was really Osama Bin Laden. Why? Because he's not a good person. Not because he actually made an impact, but because he's the bad guy. Sigh...

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